There’s no way I’ll forgive you all the suffering I’ve dealt
That brought me all those anguished tears I’d weep.
There’s no exoneration for the ache my heart was dealt
That caused these lonely days, those desperate nights devoid of sleep.
Nor any absolution for this sadness still inside
Nor for the utter agony I’ve known.
For why should I forgive you for the way our loving died,
When all the blame that must be borne is mine, and mine alone?
For you were not responsible for any wrongful deed
Beyond the gift of being a loving friend.
You gave to me your beauty and I paid you with my need,
Requiring far more energy than anyone should spend.
So how can I accuse you for the times we two have shared?
….. That you showed me a better way to live?
….. That you had loved so tenderly, and genuinely cared?
….. That you received far less than all the gifts that you would give?
Of what could you be guilty then for which you might atone?
….. For gently trying to slow my racing heart?
….. For teaching me the many magic roads that you have shown?
….. For showing how my past might end, and future now might start?
No. There can be no accusation. There can be no blame.
There’s nothing to forgive or to forget.
For you were never guilty. It is I who bears the shame
For how our loving friendship has so tragically been set.
So how can I forgive you for an uncommitted crime,
Which generates no need to reprehend.
Nor can I beg forgiveness, but I’ll ask of you for time
To find where I again may earn the right to be your friend.
And I will ever thank you for the lessons I have learned
That influence how now I choose to live,
And help me reach that time when I have genuinely earned
The right to look back to the fool I was, and to forgive.